Sunday, September 18, 2005

The One with My Cooking



Last night I had my family over for dinner so that we could all look at pictures from the Alaskan cruise my sister and her husband took. For those of you that don't know, cooking is not something I do very often. Mainly because I live alone, and it is just easier to pick dinner up or microwave something. Also, I am not very good at cooking. When I say that I don't mean that the food I cook tastes bad. It actually turns out pretty good. It's just that I cannot cook without causing either property damage or personal injury, sometimes both.

For example, in college I had just moved out from my mother's and was living in an apartment. I was making a Mexican layer dip to take to a work function. I needed some cumin to mix into the bean layer and was trying to pry the little plastic shaker part off so I could remove the seal. I was using a knife to accomplish this feat. SMART! So, I end up taking a big chunk out of my thumb. It took several months to heal, and I still have a scar.

Another and more traumatic incident occured when I was living in San Antonio for cyto school. I making was Chicken Parmesan, only I had the oil too hot. As soon as I put the chicken in, it turned black. I took it out and turned off the stove. Then the oil started to smoke, and then it was in flames. So, I know all sorts of things to do in this situation, number one being to put a lid over the pan to smother the flames. However, I started to panic and all of this knowledge just flew out of my head. I happened to have my patio door open, and my first thought was to carry this pan of flaming oil all the way across my dining and living rooms and dump it out onto the grass which I did. Some of the oil splashed out onto my foot and the carpet, but I just kept going. Once I had dumped the oil, I noticed that my carpet was on fire, so I put it out with a dish cloth. Then I noticed that the grass outside was on fire, so I put this out with a glass of water. The whole time the fire alarm was going off and screaming in my ears, but no neighbors came to see if I was alright. Everything turned out ok. My apartment didn't burn down, I had only minor burns on my foot, and I managed to air the place out. However, my carpet looked like it had an acid burn, and I did not get my deposit back when I moved back to Austin, not that I expected it. Also, I have not attempted to fry anything since.


Most recently I had friends over to watch the Texas vs. Ohio State game. I was making pigs-in-a-blanket only really it was more like cows-in-a-blanket because I used beef smokies, but I digress. I had put one pan in the oven already and was moving it to add another one. I used my bare hand to accomplish this because I didn't think it would be that hot already. Touching the pan is not what hurt me though. It was when I reacted and jerked my hand away hitting it on the rack above and causing the nice little burn that you see pictured here. The game was a really good game, and Texas won, so it was all worth it.

Back to last night, I made a Beef Stroganoff dish , a salad, steamed petite green beans, and garlic bread. It was all very delicious, and everyone had a nice time. I managed to cook last night without any incidents much to my surprise. I had even perpared a Chocolate Cream Pie on Friday night that was also scrumptious despite the fact that the crust cracked, and I didn't have all the vanilla extract the recipe called for. That's it in the picture up top. Very pretty! So, that's my cooking story. Now I'm going to go have leftovers for lunch!

16 comments:

ribbiticus said...

hi, came via michele (again). i am envious. i can't cook to save my life. your family is so lucky! :)

ribbiticus said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Heather said...

Found you via Michele's :)

I once caught grease on fire in my apartment too. I knew what to do, but I called my mom instead--in the mddle of the fire! It all turned out okay.

That burn looks painful.

I like your blog :)

Carol said...

Hi Lish,
Michele sent me.
Are you a cytologist?
Hurray for you-hosting what sounds like a wonderful meal.
Your burning chicken story read like a nightmare though!

Tammy said...

Well, maybe cooking will begin to come easier....I hope!

Michele sent me!

TC said...

Well last nights dinner sounds wonderful. Glad you made it through last night and everyone had a great time.

utenzi said...

Hey Lish.

It sounds like you've recently improved on your cooking and baking skills--and that was a good thing for your continued survival. I'm glad it worked out since I like to look in on your blog and that's only possible as long as you don't kill yourself with hot oil. Do be careful!

Bella said...

AEEEGGHHH!!!! Ew, with the cutting of the chunks of the fingers, ewie!

Lol, that looks damn good though! (Not the finger, the other picture). :D

CT said...

oh goose!!! you forgot to leave out an important detail about the chicken grease fire night... you left out that I was the first person you called, not the fire department, but me... LOL...

those were good times...

yellojkt said...

Cooking is art not science and it takes a lot of practice. I used to cook beef stroganoff but my wife makes it better.

I did get around to writing 100 Things About My Dog like you dared me to.

Marie said...

Did someone say chocolate cream pie? Mmmmmmm!

Heaven or Hell said...

Hey Goose,
I feel your pain...literally. I am still waiting for that Martha Stewart moment, when all this domesticated stuff just comes to me- poof! It hasn't happened yet...thank God the roommate seems to have been born with it all. Nice blog! Hope all is well...including your cooking wounds! - Kelin from DC!

Becky said...

Wow, you are right about your luck with cooking. That finger made me cringe. I went to college at TCU and lived in San Antonio for five years before moving back to Hawaii in 2002 (though I'm about to leave again to Seattle).

Thanks for stopping by my blog at what is now almost two weeks ago by way of Michele (I went on vacation and am still catching up:)

The Tuckered One said...

You and I must have the same cooking technique. I've caught my oven on fire twice, forgot to remove the cardboard from underneath the frozen pizza more times than I care to mention, and have a lovely oven rack burn like yours on the top of my hand.

I'm glad your chocolate cream pie turned out so pretty.

Dave said...

When I was in college I had a hot pan on the stove and when I touched it I found the handle that was supposed to stay cool didn't. I dropped the pan on the floor. Carpeted. I found a potholder and picked up the pan to find the carpet had melted and now I had a pan-shaped burn on the floor. Good times.

Laura GF said...

Michele sent me tonight. Your pie looks delicious and the rest of your meal sounds great, too. Your story of the chicken parm cracked me up, though. One time I was trying to make sweet potato fries and got the oil too hot. It started smoking, I started panicking, and all I knew was I had to get rid of it -- and I dumped it all down the sink. At least I was living in a rented apartment at the time! Sorry to hear you encountered more pain and damage than I did, though.